Without a Mother – Systemic Constellations Workshop

O wydarzeniu

I'm Going to Take Care of Myself Where I Missed My Mom- The workshop will be conducted using Bert Hellinger's method At many workshops, it becomes clear how great the losses are when a parent abandons a child… Both physical abandonment, when a child is left in the care of others, e.g. a grandmother, and emotional abandonment… At the level of lack of interest in the child… Lack of support for them… At the level of the LACK of someone BIG for someone SMALL… Big and loving, caring, nurturing, guiding through life, taking responsibility for the child, accompanying the child… ABANDONMENT is sometimes hard to notice in your own life… It's easy to notice what was there and hurt, e.g. aggression, control, demands, things that AFFECTED us… Abandonment is different because it hurts not by what affected us, but by what was MISSING… It hurts not by what obviously wounded us, but by what LEFT us alone… Alone with the hardships, challenges, and dangers of childhood or adolescence… Abandonment is LACK… Abandonment is LONELINESS… Abandonment is facing childhood or teenage experiences, childhood or teenage thinking and understanding of the world with sometimes brutal and demanding situations… It's facing injustice, traps, abuses committed by those of our then "greatness," but also adults… Abandonment is searching for a way out of hurtful situations, bringing sadness, terror in loneliness… WITHOUT ADULT SUPPORT… WITHOUT ADULT PRESENCE… Without the possibility to benefit from the life experience of someone who has seen and experienced much… Without hearing the story of someone close with similar problems… Without the feeling of kindness and understanding from a LOVING BIG PERSON… It's growing up without a hand on your shoulder… Without a hug… Without someone big who will show more options… Who will look further and talk about possible consequences of different paths… It's growing up with the feeling that you have to manage on your own… That you have to bear your own choices… Sometimes growing up with the feeling of EXPECTATION from parents that you won't cause them problems… That you won't bother them… That THEY ARE RELEASED FROM THE ROLE OF PARENTS TOWARDS US… That THEY ARE RELEASED FROM RESPONSIBILITY TOWARDS US AND FOR US… And growing up in such a feeling is FEAR… Adequate fear… Because a person is afraid to do something, because it's the first time… Because THEY DON'T KNOW HOW… Because there is no support… Because they're afraid if they chose well… And with doubts, there's no one to go to… Because it's scary to talk about doubts… So you keep going, so as not to show you might have made a mistake… Abandonment is facing life NOT FIT FOR US… Because there's no one who, in life and in dealing with BIG matters, brings an ADULT perspective and experience… Because there's no one who TAKES OFF the responsibility from the child that is not theirs… Who takes their own responsibility for what happens in the child's life… Who acts as the situation requires and INTERVENES… Sometimes breaks into an unacceptable situation the child found themselves in or was dragged into, CALLS THINGS by their name and RESTORES ORDER… Who will be their child's ADVOCATE or even hire a real advocate for serious matters… Sets boundaries and guards them… Shows other adults that THEIR CHILD IS NOT ALONE! That their child is NOT A STRAY DOG… That their child HAS AN ADULT behind or in front of them… An adult who loves, cares, who cares about the child… Who is interested in the child, cares about their well-being, peace, welfare… And watches other adults closely… Watches teachers, camp counselors, priests, doctors – everyone! Who is truly ALWAYS PRESENT with their child… And such presence IS FELT by all who come into contact with the child… This PRESENCE and parental interest in the child's matters PROTECTS them… Creates a bubble, a zone of safety for them… Where THE CHILD CAN BE A CHILD… Because being a child means BEING SMALL WITH SOMEONE BIG… Being SMALL under the CARE and WINGS OF AN ADULT'S LOVE… Being small means not having to face the world alone… Abandoned children have no choice… THEY MUST MANAGE ON THEIR OWN… THEY HAVE NO CHOICE… Parents are often "proud" of such children… That they're off their hands, and they still manage… That they're responsible, sensible, foresighted from childhood… But this is a signal that should worry the parent… Why doesn't my child behave like a child? Because a child who doesn't behave like a child LOSES THEIR CHILDHOOD when it's time for it… It's a great loss… Another great loss… Sometimes parents think their child just doesn't like to play, is just serious… But for them, there was simply never SPACE for play, for hugs, for carefreeness, for not knowing… It doesn't mean they wouldn't want to snuggle on mom's lap and hug… Maybe they just don't know it… Sometimes parents even think their child was born mature… Sometimes they even feel encouraged to burden the child with their adult problems… Give them their tasks to solve… Let the child listen to their life dilemmas… Marital conflicts… Be the judge at home… Be THE ONE WHO KNOWS… Who decides… And sometimes the parent of the abandoned child abandoned them long ago and, for example, was busy with other people, other children as a teacher, psychologist, doctor, etc. Sometimes such a parent thinks that if their child manages, they don't need them… How often all the attention goes to the child who struggles more in the family or is sicker, and the one who, for example, does well in school is significantly or completely neglected, left alone, because they manage, and if they manage, if they don't come, don't cry, don't break down, don't wreck the house, they don't need… Maybe that's why some children learned that when they don't wreck the house, there's no attention for them? That when they don't make a mess, don't get sick or cause big problems, NOBODY SEES THEM? I could write endlessly, but what happens later when such abandonment and loneliness remain unnoticed, unnamed, not taken seriously as HARM AND GREAT LOSS? Often later, it's impossible to harmoniously arrange a relationship with a parent even in adult life… If the LACK from childhood is not REALIZED, then the ANGER at the parent is not realized, nor what it REALLY COMES FROM… If the cause is not realized, then the effect is not realized either… If we don't find the source of the problem, there's no way to solve it… The adult child often REVENGES on parents for various things, including abandonment… In us adults, many CLAIMS against parents for that time of loneliness work unconsciously… Sometimes we expect from a husband, boss, friend that they will be better parents for us… Sometimes we even want this from our own children! And maybe our parents wanted this from us too? Maybe it all started from this? When the parent wasn't there when most needed, in the child's eyes they LOSE THE RIGHT to tell them what to do, give advice, or even express opinions… Even in adult life… When the parent wasn't there when REALLY NEEDED, when they lecture on trivial matters, when since age 5 we've been responsible for ourselves, it just IRRITATES! You weren't there when the teacher bullied me at school… You weren't there when they lowered my grade, didn't let me graduate, humiliated me in class… You weren't there when my heart was broken, when my boyfriend dumped me… You weren't there when my friend betrayed me… You weren't there when dad left… You weren't there when dad hit me… You dumped care of younger siblings on me… You weren't there when my boyfriend pressured me for sex… You weren't there when my world collapsed in a million ways… You weren't there when I faced the biggest dilemmas… And now you'll criticize my dress? My apple pie? Now you'll criticize my husband? Go away! NOW go away! Now it's TOO LATE… Now I don't want ANYTHING from you… Now don't interfere… Suddenly you have something to say… THEN I needed you to say something… To say something WISE… As an adult, 30 years more on this earth, with people, with various, including false friends, with men, an experienced woman… To BE, so I had someone to trust, someone to cry to… To defend me unequivocally… To say I deserve more… To tell me I'm wonderful and deserve the best treatment from a boyfriend… To support me in choosing studies or give me more time to decide… To give me, without snide remarks, space to withdraw from wrong choices… To release me from NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME as your child… These are very important topics… To return to yourself from childhood, but also adolescence… To see that the LACK of a parent, the LACK OF A MOTHER in particular exposed us to fear, loneliness, even danger… That's how it was… I was alone with everything or too many things… Always ALONE with duties, questions, dilemmas, abuses ALONE… You weren't there for me, mom… And I lost so much because of it… Now, as an adult, I return to that little or teenage self… Now, with life experience, I can accompany myself… Now, with love, I can relate to my experiences, dilemmas, and fears from then… Now I can support myself in my rights, in setting boundaries… Now I can understand and STOP BLAMING myself for what I couldn't do and what was simply TOO HARD for that age… This topic is so important for every person that I decided to make it the main theme of the workshop. Whoever wants and needs to work with the topic of rejection or abandonment by a parent, with the topic of lack of support during growing up, or notices their inadequate expectation of being their own parent today towards others, or as always with any other topic, you are warmly invited. WHY THE SYSTEMIC CONSTELLATION METHOD AND WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT IT? Bert Hellinger's systemic constellation method is the only method that can work with all kinds of problems so quickly, accurately, and effectively. It is a powerful tool for INSIGHT and CHANGE for those who would like to look at their difficulties from another point of view, on a deeper level, taking into account family history and the strength of relationships between its members. The greatest phenomenon of this method is the action of the so-called KNOWING FIELD, thanks to which completely strangers chosen to represent us or members of our family system begin to feel like the people they represent. What we do not consciously perceive, what normally escapes us, quickly comes to light in constellations. Constellations show us the entire network of relationships between individual family members and, most importantly for us, show us WHERE WE ARE LOOKING. They show our inner reality. They show WHO our problems lead us to. They show whether we are entangled in matters that are not ours. Whether something is left for us to finish somewhere. Maybe something needs to be done first before we can move towards what we care about. Or maybe we are simply guided by deep loyalty to someone who had a hard life in some respect and we repeat their fate… Then we need to honor that person's fate, bow, and withdraw to our own life. Our problem is a warning light – it indicates that something, someone demands attention, that something, someone has been omitted, unnoticed, unfinished, not fully experienced. When a client reports a problem, the facilitator "reads" the language of constellations, mainly the movements, bodily sensations, and emotions of the representatives, and follows the thread to the source of the problem. When a solution appears, everyone feels relieved. Our problem is no longer needed and can disappear. The problem's service has been fulfilled. WHAT ELSE SHOULD YOU KNOW WHEN CONSIDERING PARTICIPATION IN SYSTEMIC CONSTELLATIONS? Systemic constellations are not a medical procedure, but a method of deep work on a spiritual level. The goal of this work is to reveal systemic dynamics or personal events that are at the root of the problem reported by the client and, as far as possible and the client's readiness, to work with these causes. Nevertheless, the possibility of change/healing depends on the readiness of the client's system and the client's own readiness to integrate the content shown in the constellation – emotions and images. Participation in an individual session or workshop may evoke very strong emotions in the client. This type of work is suitable for people who are emotionally stable, fully mentally and physically capable. In particular, please consider your health condition, including physical ailments and conditions such as: tendency to shortness of breath, susceptibility to fainting, heart or breathing problems, etc. Please take all this seriously and come to my workshop only if you take this responsibility on yourself as an adult. For many people, participation in constellations may be a one-time therapeutic/developmental event. For people with more serious problems, constellations usually support and complement an ongoing therapeutic process or signal the need to undertake regular individual therapy. If, after reading all this information, you decide to participate, I invite you to register. ✨ DATE: January 31 (Saturday), 9:30 am to 6-7:30 pm with a one-hour lunch break; 📍 PLACE: Warsaw - Plac Inwalidów 10 in Żoliborz, Warsaw, Jarzębina room. 💰 PRICE: 580 PLN - participation in the workshop with your own constellation is reserved by a deposit (non-refundable) of 280 PLN and sending confirmation of the transfer. Since the deposit is always non-refundable, please make a considered decision. If you cancel your participation in the workshop at the reserved date no later than 48 hours before the start of the workshop, it is possible to transfer the deposit to another date within 3 months from the reserved date. If you cancel your participation in the workshop less than 48 hours before the start of the workshop, the deposit is forfeited. 280 PLN – participating observer – option without own work for those who want to learn the constellation method in practice as a representative. For observers, I ask for full payment before the workshop date. Additionally, the price includes water, coffee, tea, and cookies 🏦 PLEASE MAKE PAYMENTS TO THE ACCOUNT: Terapia Duszy Marta Duszyńska 40 2490 0005 0000 4530 8812 8809 Please enter in the transfer title: workshop date, phone number For REGISTRATION and any questions or doubts, please contact me by phone or email. Marta Duszyńska Certified Systemic Constellations Therapist Mobile: 607 230 783, e-mail: ustawienia@duszynska.net ABOUT ME I learned family constellations from Bert Hellinger himself, as well as Gerhard Walper, Wolfgang Deusser, Heiko Hinrichs, and Andrea Drohli. Additionally, I completed a Two-Year Study of Psychotherapy in the Process Psychology approach by Arnold Mindell. The trainings I have completed in the helping field are: - "Happiness at Your Feet" – training seminar led by Bert Hellinger, Wrocław 2013 - Training in New Spiritual Family Constellations according to Bert and Sophie Hellinger – W. Deusser, G. Walper, A. Choińska (elements of strong holding therapy) 2014-2016 - Supervisory training in family, health, and professional success work – Wolfgang Deusser, Warsaw 2017-2018 - "Trauma as an Important Life Experience. What are the forms and how to successfully integrate them with personal development?" - W. Deusser, Kraków 2022 - "My Trauma, My Body, My SELF" – training in Franz Ruppert's Intention Constellations, Warsaw 2018 - Workshop in Małgorzata Wołukanis' Unhooking Method - Psychiatric practice under supervision as part of training at the Process Psychology Institute – 2018 - "Psychotherapeutic Practice with Elements of Psychopathology" – IPP in Warsaw - Warrior on the Path of the Heart – Mazury 2015 - "Eating Disorders" at (PIPI) in Kraków, 2013 - "Psychotherapy of Anxiety Disorders" at (PIPI) in Kraków, 2013 - "The Psychotherapist as a Tool for Change" at (PIPI) in Kraków, 2013 - "Warrior on the Path of the Heart" – Process Psychology Institute (IPP) in Warsaw - "Integrative Systemic Short-Term Psychotherapy" at the Polish Institute of Integrative Psychotherapy (PIPI) in Kraków, 2012 From personal experience, I can add that systemic constellations changed my life, my understanding of life, the principles that govern it, brought understanding, peace, and an incomparably greater sense of meaning in life as it is given to us. I warmly invite you. The attached photo comes from dziecisawazne.pl